Pretty Rad Rabbit Food

Sautéed Spring Salad With Kale

So I'm really hyped about this whole Kale thing. Not only does it taste good, but it's AMAZING - vitamins, protein, etc. And you can sauté it! I questioned posting this salad recipe because, I mean, it's a salad and anyone can make a salad... but this was too good not to post. Trust me.

INGREDIENTS (for dining alone):

2 tsp sea salt

2 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp of onion powder (or just sauté onions)

1/2 tsp garlic powder

2 tbsp of Star balsamic vinegar

1 1/2 tbsp olive oil

Bowl of washed kale

1 cup of sliced mushrooms

1/2 a squash

1/4 of a bushel of asparagus

1/2 cup of feta cheese crumbled

1: KALE

Heat up olive oil in a large saucepan (try not to get burned by hot, jumping oil as I did). Throw washed kale in with salt. Stir around until evenly salted/oiled and cover for 6 1/2 minutes on medium heat.

2: WINE?

Always optional, never unnecessary. 

3: CHOP VEGGIES

Wash all vegetables. Chop squash into wedges by first slicing down the middle of the full squash. Do the same between the two cut sides again. Make sure to leave a little un-cut squash at the top of the squash so it doesn't fall into four pieces. Now take the squash and cut perpendicularly in evenly spaced rows. If this makes absolutely no sense, refer to the top picture or find a youtube tutorial because I really don't know how to explain that any better. Throw those in the pan. Next is the asparagus. Cut into five or six sections horizontally so they are in bite size pieces and you don't feel like a rabbit sucking it down. Throw those in. Lastly, throw in the mushrooms because they're small and for lazy people.

4: SAUTEE VEGGIES

Pour oil onto the vegetables in the pan. Mix in with salt, pepper, onion, and garlic powder. Keep flipping them around until they are soft and squishy and taste delicious. If you have time or like to be healthy, lay them on a plate with flat paper towels to dry out the oil before serving.

5: FINISH OFF KALE

After the timer dings, quickly add balsalmic vinegar to the leaves and mix. Place the lid back on, turn the burner off, and place them back on the warm stove top until the rest of your food is ready.

Side note: this balsamic stuff is a hidden gem that my roommate discovered (and whom I steal it from a lot in the kitchen - sorry Elena) so I highly advise anyone to invest the $4 in it. Star is great for cooking and regular salads.

6: CHEESE AND SERVE!

Serve kale and veggies in a bowl or plate, and last but certainly not least - add feta cheese! If you're thinking it will be fine if you don't add cheese (because of dietary concerns or maybe you aren't human and don't like cheese) then I'm telling you, it is not the same salad without it. Total game changer. Just do it, ok?

Enjoy!

Kale Yeah!

Chicken & Mushroom Penne With Kale

INGREDIENTS (serves four):

2 tsp sea salt

1 1/2 tbsp olive oil

4 thin chicken breasts

Box of penne noodles

Sliced mushrooms

Bag of kale washed (use how much you want to cook) 

1 can of Cream of Mushroom

1 can of water

1 tspn of Cavender's greek seasoning

1: MARINATE CHICKEN

De-thaw chicken breasts and place them in a baking dish with olive oil and greek seasoning. You can also do this in a clear plastic baggy, just depends on how classy you want to look. 

Side note: Cavender's seasoning is the God of seasonings. If you don't own this you need to go to Publix and get it now - you'll thank me later

2: POUR GLASS OF WINE

Pinot Grigio preferably.

3: KALE TIME

Heat up olive oil in a large saucepan. Throw washed kale in with salt. Stir around until evenly salted/oiled and cover for 6 minutes on medium heat.

4: START TO BOIL WATER FOR NOODLES

5: COOK CHICKEN

Take chicken from dish (baggy) and cut them into small pieces. Place them on a hot, large skillet. Let sit on a high medium temperature. Keep an eye on these and keep flipping them to equally cook both sides. 

6: COOK NOODLES

Should cook for about 10 minutes

7: SAUTEE MUSHROOMS

In a medium skillet, heat olive oil and salt. Add mushrooms and stir to oil and season evenly. Put on medium setting and keep an eye on them. When the chicken is nearly finished and the mushrooms are starting to shrivel, throw the mushrooms in with the chicken and stir it around.

8: SAUCE

Take your can of Cream of Mushroom and dump it on the skillet you just used for the mushrooms. Add a can of water and put on high heat. Whisk the contents until they are in liquid form and put the temperature to low once it starts boiling.

9: NOODLES

Put drained noodles in skillet with mushroom sauce. Stir and let sit until everything is ready.

10: SERVE!

By now your meal should be ready! The order by which I served it onto a plate (in the first picture) was noodles > sauce > kale > chicken > mushrooms on top. Hopefully you're already down a few glasses of greej so this meal will taste even better!

Enjoy

Fish Are Food, For Friends

Pan-Seared Tilapia With Spinach Fettuchi and Sauteed Squash and Asparagus

INGREDIENTS (serves four):

2 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

Pinch of rosemary

Pinch of oregano

2 cups of chicken broth

1/2 cup of water

6 tbsp butter

1 tbsp olive oil

1/4 cup lemon juice

4 tbsp flour

4 tilapia filets de-thawed 

Bag of Al Dente Spinach Fettuchini

1 large tomato (or two tomatoes)

1 squash

1/3 bushel of asparagus

1: DE-THAW & MARINATE TILAPIA

Thaw tilapia filets and place in a glass dish. Add olive oil and rosemary. Let sit for a 5-10 minutes. 

2: POUR GLASS OF WINE

You're gonna want it, trust me.

3: START TO BOIL WATER FOR NOODLES

I'm sorry that font looks like I'm yelling

4: COOK TILAPIA

Take tilapia from dish and place them on a hot, large skillet. Let sit on a high medium temperature. Keep an eye on these and keep flipping them to equally cook both sides.

3: SAUCE

In a medium saucepan, melt the butter with pepper and salt (make sure it is a teaspoon not a tablespoon like I originally thought...). Add flour and stir to get the lumps out. Add chicken broth and seasoning (rosemary and oregano) and stir the sauce until it's thick and creamy. Put temperature on low and let sit with occasional stirring throughout the whole cooking process. If it doesn't smell like sex you're doing it wrong.

5: SAUTEE VEGGIES

Chop each asparagus into four small pieces, and cut squash into small slivers to match the size of the asparagus. Put oil, salt, and pepper in a medium sauce pan and throw chopped veggies in. Pour lemon juice directly on the vegetables and start mixing the ingredients on the pan. Place on medium heat. Keep an eye on them and stir veggies around so they cook evenly. They will be ready when they are soft, or if they are burnt on one side. If you want to feel like Emeril you can try to flip the veggies in the pan with just your hands. If I have to explain how to do that, then you're not ready to be Emeril. 

6: NOODLES

Throw it in the pot with salt and olive oil, and watch until they get soft. Pretty basic stuff here.

7: BACK TO TILAPIA

Cut the heart out of the tomato and chop skin of the tomato into small slivers, cut those into smaller pieces. Put tomatoes in the pan with the tilapia while the fish are almost finished cooking (when it starts to fall apart). Keep flipping fish with tomatoes on them so the tomatoes are sauteed as well. 

8: DRAIN NOODLES

9: SERVE!

By now your meal should be ready! The order by which I served it onto a plate (in the picture above) was noodles>sauce>sautéed veggies>tilapia>tomatoes on top. Also make sure to keep drinking your wine so if you messed up, the food will taste better eventually.

Enjoy!